Pre-Culmination

The door to my ‘kafedra’ of Russian 19th century literature at Ural State University. How I’m going to miss entering through it once in a while to ask a question or simply to have tea and enjoy a lovely conversation with friends/professors…I know it is impossible to make out what it says on the white A4, that’s why you can read all about it here instead.

Things are approaching their long awaited culmination here in the Ural Mountains, comrades. I’ve spent the weekend first correcting Melissa’s review of my thesis [she asked me to ‘plump’ up her scientific Russian prose, which I duly did], then making the last corrections on the thesis itself and working on my speech for the defense on Thursday. It was first seven pages, then Aleksey got angry with me [finally! the kind of attention I’ve always longed for!], corrected it without mercy on his own and now half of it is gone and instead it is neat and nice and only four pages. I only get to speak for 10 minutes at the defense, and I think I’ll be able to do that now. I hate killing my darlings… but then again, I know I can’t give a lecture on this subject as it could only be made justice to in a SERIES of lectures.

Tomorrow is the day of our annual ‘festival of Russian language’ with the foreign students at Ural State. I’m playing in two out of the three plays [all by Chekhov, that’s the theme for our festival this year], which has sort of cramped up all the space both in my physical and psychological life lately. This evening Patrick, Yu Winyang and I rehearsed for the last time together and I don’t think I’ve laughed this much for a very, very long time. They both crack me up! And at this point we know the material well enough to do all sorts of strange things with it, adding stuff to the play which had probably never even entered into the mind of Anton Chekhov while severely drunk… Tomorrow I have to be at the university at 10 am to get my hair done, then get dressed – I’m wearing two splendid 19th century style dresses in the plays and I suppose it would be safe to say that’s partly why I do this in the first place – and rehearse and then at 14.00 it’s show time. After the play I’ll have to meet up with Aleksey and discuss Tuesday with him and print out my thesis once again.

I’m extremely tired, comrades. I don’t think I’m doing well health wise, I’m afraid. For the past couple of months I’ve been suffering from some strange symptoms of illness, which I googled a couple of days ago – I never should’ve done that. I’ve read up on what it might be, and none of the options look very good. I pray that I’m only exhausted and that I need to have some rest. I’ve decided to go easier on my body from now on. No more carrying my laptop for 45 minutes to and back from university on high heels. On Wednesday I stopped by the pharmacy [I’m mortally afraid of doctors and hospitals, but pharmacies I can deal with] and explained one of my more alarming symptoms to the kind lady behind the cashier. She said it’s a classic allergic reaction and called me a fool for continuing to eat ‘smetannikis’ [this certain kind of extremely tasty Russian pastry that I love so much I cannot imagine life without it] with fresh smetana [sour cream] despite knowing that I’m allergic to dairy. She advised me these pills, and after taking them I felt like I had acquired a second life. Now I take them and continue eating my beloved ‘smetannikis’ – I know, I’m mad. But I love them so much! I should probably go see a real doctor when I’m in Sweden. If not the month of June – which will be dedicated only to me, myself & Shalamov – will cure me.

After Tuesday’s culmination I will have done everything I need to do at the university, and I can start forcing my friends and family to call me “Magister Lundblad”. No, I’m serious – that’s what I’ll do!