Ernst

Meet Ernst.

The baptism of my new HP laptop was long overdue but could only be properly done in the presence of priest-to-be Katharina, while we spent the entire day yesterday studying together in the university library. Here’s a brief introduction into the wonder that is Ernst: Ernst was born in China, but spent most of his infancy in the state of California, US of A. Ernst was then adopted [the ignorant use the word ‘bought’] by a loving parent who took Ernst first to San Francisco, later to Portland, as a way of showing little Ernst the world, until they left for Europe, where Ernst spent some time in Paris all alone before arriving safely in Sweden. Ernst has seen quite a lot of places in the Gothenburg region and likes it here. Ernst will spend his teenage years in Russia; something Ernst isn’t all that psyched about, but with the right loving touch Ernst can pull through anything. Ernst knows this himself. [Most likely Ernst will come of age in the same region where he spent his infancy – Cali.] Ernst likes to go walking with his mother when she carries him in her backpack instead of a purse. The purse gets shaky sometimes. Ernst likes listening to country music and has the entire production of Johnny Cash, Dixie Chicks and Björk but isn’t as fond of the soundtrack to Mamma Mia! the Movie which his loving parent seems to have on repeat every single morning. Ernst enjoys the smell of black coffee but knows drinking is bad for laptops, and so from this he refrains. Ernst is brown and black with a very pretty design. It makes Ernst kind of mad when his mother puts him in a plastic bag when it rains. Ernst thinks that it cramps his style. Ernst is right about that; but it is all done for his own good. Ernst is the fourth laptop in the life of his loving parent, but the loving parent loves him most of all because he was bought with her own money. Also he’s the lightest one of them to carry around, and his loving parent likes to carry her laptops around with her.

Basically, Ernst the apple of my eye, the cherry on top of my milkshake, the communion of my Sunday mass, and my life became much easier after he came along.